"Vintagize Me Cap'n!"

I am a communications studies major, with a minor in journalism. In my Media Crit class, we often discuss Karl Marx and his analytical theory. After hearing Marx's name repetitively for the past 8 weeks or so, I was starting to dread the name.
Until, I Stumbled Upon this tee. Now I know, I know, message tees are such a faux-pas, but this CAN be styled! I would buy it super oversized and do some DIYing to make it look vintage.

Here's a technique I surprisingly picked up from Men's Health Magazine to make a tee look vintage:

What You'll Need - 1/4 cup of sodium carbonate washing soda

- 2 cups of salt

- some fine-grit sand paper

1. Start by mixing the washing soda and salt together. In the process the salt acts as an abrasive, and the sodium carbonate washing soda rids the garment of it's stiffness.
2. Now, the magazine suggests to do several loads of wash with the tee & aging mixture on high heat. However, I feel that unless you are doing a whole batch of new-to-vintage pieces, three to FIVE loads of wash on high heat, followed by three to five times in the dryer on high heat is quite the waste of energy... And we all know that excessive carbon footprints are the greatest faux-pas of all! So - I have heard that this process can be done without the washer and dryer! Instead of tossing the shirt in the wash with the aging mix, instead pick a few nice days in a row, put the tee in a bin and cover with water, then add the mixture and mix it around. Leave it in the sun for a few days and then hang it out to dry.
3. Use the sand paper to  rub at the design on the shirt. I suggest adding some distressing to the collar or thinning out patches of the shirt by rubbing in a circular motion with the sand paper.

Then, rock it out. Now, I'd wear it with some skinny boyfriend denim, a crisp khaki blazer, and, in a dream world, some statement Balmain gladiator heels by Giuseppe Zanotti. Top it off with a vintage straw fedora, wayfarers and some bed hair, and you are so ready to hit the streets.

Who knows, perhaps the witty tee will attract you some scholarly NYU yuppies or something.